A Survivor’s Four-Step Guide: What to do if you get an unsolicited dick picture from your boss
A Survivor’s Four-Step Guide: What to do if you get an unsolicited dick picture from your boss
More often than not, when you receive a picture on your phone from your boss or colleague that showcases their penis, it’s unwanted and downright unnerving. You might be wondering why they sent it, the intention behind it, and most importantly what do you do about it? You probably want to delete it immediately and forget the image that’s now burned in your brain. But before you delete it—think about it from a long-term perspective because it now could be evidence of sexual harassment.
Let’s start from the beginning and define what a “Dick Pic” is. Our favorite dictionary, Urban Dictionary, defines a dick pic as “slang for an image of a penis, typically sent and received via electronic devices.”
If you got one, this unsolicited picture could be considered a form of assault that anyone should not have to endure. Let’s frame it in another way so you can see the severity of the action in a new light. If a man showed up on your front porch and randomly whipped out his penis, most people would call the cops, and he would be arrested for indecent exposure.
Please know that although sending it through a phone could seem less confrontational than being directly in front of you, don’t take that assumption at face value and dismiss the dick pic as a lesser problem. An unsolicited dick pic from anyone is not ok and if you received it from anyone at work, it is considered unlawful sexual harassment.
Many women (and men!) have dealt with this issue on social media and on dating sites, where you can just block a person and never see them again. But what happens if a coworker, a supervisor, or <gasp> even YOUR BOSS is the one sending you these inappropriate dick pics and you can’t just block them?
Now it’s time to put a plan in action by following our Survivors Four-Step Guide:
- Document, Document, Document: Put down the brain bleach and erase the thought that you just want them gone, gone, gone. You are going to need to save those photos! The actual text messages are obviously the best proof that you were the unfortunate recipient of unwanted pictures of a sexual nature. Save a copy to the cloud, email a copy to yourself (not on your work email) – and make sure that if something happens to your phone, you can still access the texts or screenshots of the texts. Do not respond to the text.
- Reach Out to the Proper Channels: If you are being sexually harassed at work, your employer needs to be notified so they can take the proper steps to correct and prevent any future harassment. If you have an employee handbook, look to see if there is a particular number or individual that you should contact in the case of harassment or discrimination in the workplace. If you are not sure who to contact, reach out to Human Resources or your direct supervisor. If it is the company owner, or a relative of an owner, or you still are not sure who to tell, reach out to an attorney for guidance!
- Put it in Writing: Once you have figured out the right person to complain to, you need to complain the right way. First, it needs to be in writing. Preferably via email or text, so there is not a question of what you said or when you said it! Stick to only the issue at hand and keep it short and to the point.Keep it simple: Dear Human Resources, Bob (who) in accounting texted me a picture of his penis (what) yesterday (when)and I found it very offensive (why). Is there a way to make him stop? It makes me uncomfortable to come to work now. (What you want them to do)Do not include other issues: If you have any other issues at work, from leave requests, to other complaints, put those in a separate communication. Adding other issues may make it unclear what your complaint is, and distract from the issue – receiving an unsolicited dick pic.
- Seek Support: Receiving unsolicited dick pics is a form of assault. Feelings ranging from shock and disbelief, fear and anxiety, shame and guilt, to anger and rage are completely normal. Everyone’s experience is unique, and you may benefit from professional help on your healing journey. Most importantly, you are not alone and you did nothing wrong.
Have you received unsolicited dick pics at work? If you are still unsure about what to do next, or scared to move forward alone, we can help. Start by contacting us here.